Alone With You
by D3aD CuT3 ZoMBi3
Summary: All Starfire asks for is that Robin treat her the same way in public as he does behind closed doors. She's listened to his deepest and darkest fears, and knows more about him than he may know about himself, but she can't be his mat any more. Rob/Star


_**Alone With You**_

Disclaimer: I don't not own the Teen Titans, nor characters or events, or merchandise. DC Comics and other affiliations do, and I am merely a spectator and wanted to show admiration with this one shot.

With the rising sun, there always comes that moment of bliss. There's a space between the moment the sun hits your eyes, and the moment you realize it's not a dream that you are overwhelmed by a sense of bliss and content. Nothing is wrong. The world is at peace, and you feel as if you never knew pain, or resentment.

But, every good thing must come to an end, and as Starfire stretched out her arms, she realized that her good morning wasn't as good as she would have suspected. Robin had been beside her last night, laying underneath the covers with her as they had fallen asleep together. She wanted to smile so badly, but the image before her now was one that made her heart twinge in a gut-wrenching turn.

The covers were tousled, and the space where he had slept, where his ebony hair had fallen onto the violet throwpillows and his unmasked, sky-blue eyes had watched her for hours, was no longer there. Just an empty space where her love should be.

This was just like him. Leave so he could pretend that there wasn't anything between them. Ignore her teasing remarks during the day, not even making eye contact with her while anyone was around. He would treat her like another part of the team, the same as he did Raven, or Beast boy, or even Cyborg. Starfire scoffed as she also thought he might treat Silkie better than her today.

Her large, alien green eyes looked over at the sleeping mutant and a soft smile crossed her face. At least he looked comfortable and carefree.

Starfire sat up and pulled her knees to herself, crossing her arms over the top so she could rest her head. Why was he so intolerable at times? Why couldn't he be the same person that he was last night, and many nights before, everyday. Why must he continue to act like she didn't exist, like he felt nothing for her?

She knew all of his dark secrets, and even ones he hadn't ever admitted to anyone other than her, in the confines of her large, violet room. She knew of his parents, of the thoughts he had while with Slade. Starfire knew how he felt about when he had tried to catch Slade by becoming Red X, what the guilt did to him. Starfire had listened, offering a hand to hold, and a comforting smile to cheer him up.

And even last night, Robin had been horrified, and the only person that he would speak to about it, was Starfire, waking her up at three a.m. because of how dire the situation felt to him. He had banged outside her door, and she had risen with a startled jump, her hands glowing green with starbolts, her eyes following, until she heard his soft voice ask for her to open up.

Starfire had relaxed and flew over to the door, placing her hand on the palm reader so it would open. The smile that had been evident on her face disapeared when she saw Robin in his disheveled appearance.

His normally spiky hair was in a dissaray of strand, falling down his ears and most pushed from his eyes, like he had been running his fingers through it anxiously. His mask was off, something Starfire had never seen before, and one of the reasons she was so alarmed. What the white and black mask had hidden was beautiful icy blue eyes, yet, now they were bloodshot, and he had dark bags under them. His cheeks were red, as if he had been crying, and his bottom lip. Starfire knew that when Robin was extremely nervous, or worried about anything, he would precariously chew his bottom lip, sometimes to the point of bleeding.

She reached her arms out quickly, pulling him inside. "What is the matter, Robin? You look as horrible as a Glorthob," she remarked, closing the door behind them, klnowing that Robin wouldn't want the rest of the team to listen in.

Robin moved her arms away from him instantly, and moved from her, causing her heart to break a little more. He ran his long fingers through his hair again. He let out a ragged choked breath and shook his head. "I shouldn't have woke you up, but you're the only person that I need right now, Star. I had to tell someone," he said, walking slowly to her window and leaning against it.

Starfire flew to him, looking out as she did. Jumpcity was gorgeous during the night, with all of the lights and stars, but nothing could rival the look of Robin, when he was happy, or the sound of her nickname on his tongue.

"It is okay. I love to do the listening, expecially for you," she remarked, adding another soft smile.

Robin still wouldn't meet her eyes, and he frowned as he leaned his forehead against the thick glass. "I know, but I don't want you to see me any differently, and that's why I came to you. I can't look weak in front of Raven, or Beast Boy, or Cyborg especially. They depend on my strength, on my stability, and right now, I feel the complete opposite of those words," he said, finally looking over to meet her green eyes.

With another smile, she crossed her arms. "You are not weak, or unstable. My Robin defies those words," she said, and that let Robin smile slightly.

"You would think that, wouldn't you?" The tone of his voice actually hurt Starfire. Almost as if he knew she could see no wrong in him, but chose to ignore it.

For a moment, she watched him as he moved once again, to her bed, and sat down, finally caving. His head fell between his hands and he shuddered. "Star, I have been having this horrible nightmare, and it feels so real, and when I wake up, the only thing I want to do is leave. I want to get out of bed, walk in this bedroom, and just watch you the rest of the night, so that nothing can touch you, so no one can touch you," he said, looking up to hold her gaze.

Starfire kept her distance, wishing to give him personal space, although all she wanted to do was comfort him. "What is this dream you speak of? What are the events?" she asked.

Robin shook his head, his face twisting into a rueful frown. "It's Slade, it's always Slade," he said, wiping his forehead. His voice seemed choked for a moment, and Starfire went to the bed instantly, kneeling down in front of him, staring up as she waited for him to continue on. "I see you, one minute you're with me, the next, you're with him, standing by him, agreeing with everything he says, and saying things to me that I know you would never say. And Slade he just laughs, holding you like your his, like he loves you while I stand there, prepared for a battle that i can't win.

"You tell me that I'm weak, and you laugh at me. You tell me to fight Slade, so you can watch me fall. Slade just laughs. You tell me how you know exactly how weak I am, how easily it is for me to fall from grace, and then you kiss Slade," he said, twisting into an angry glare, his lips pursing. "Slade kisses you back and then dangles you in front of me like a helpless doll. And then without another moment's thought, he kills you and throws your body at me, laughing maniacally. And all I can do is stare. I can't even move, or speak, I'm just frozen, and you're staring up at me, begging me to save you. I can't do anything. I can't save you. You're just dying and. . ."

Starfire grabbed him into an embrace as she felt him start to break down. If he was crying, Starfire wouldn't look at him, because she knew how self-conscience he was about it. She would just hold him as he cried onto her shoulder, not saying a word. He jerked and shuddered, losing his air every once in a while, nearing panic attacks, but Starfire whispered sweet nothings into his ear everytime he did, and he would calm down.

Robin sighed, his hands locked by his side like solid wood. His eyes were closed from her, his face pointed down as he spoke. "Then I wake up, and run here, to check on you, whether you always know I'm here or not. I would have just did the same tonight, but i couldn't rest without talking to you, and I don't want to close my eyes without seeing your face again. I would never sleep."

Starfire leaned back, offering another soft, sweet smile. "I am fine, as always. You need not to do the checking up, I don't wish to leave you. Just wake me up, and I will be here to listen, even if your dreams are utter nonsense," she said, rubbing his pale arm.

He smiled, laughing slightly. "Yeah, I guess they are, but I also guess that's what I fear the most," he said, sighing.

Starfire knew that at that moment, a part of him wanted to express the admiration, rather than just hint at how special she was to him, but his pride, or stubborness wouldn't allow it.

Instead, he stood and Starfire followed him as his hand rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess since I know you're alright, and that I've now made a total fool of myself in front of you, I can try to go back to sleep," he said, turning, but Starfire caught his hand easily with hers.

"Must you go?"

Robin's eyes held hers for what seemed like an eternity to him. He swallowed hard and looked down at their hands. "Do you want me to stay?" he asked.

Starfire nodded. "Yes. What if I fear losing you? I must know where you are tonight, everytime I open my eyes. I will not allow you to sleep by yourself, not in your condition," she replied.

Robin stopped, thinking about it for a moment. If it had been anyone other than her, she knew he would have left, but he didn't. He nodded and walked with her to the bed, pulling the covers back for her to get in and then laying on top of the satin bedspread. Starfire knew that he didn't like to sleep under a blanket, he felt trapped when he did.

He laid his head on the pillow beside her, and looked over to watch her. Their eyes met, and each felt as if they could read the other's thoughts, both smiling in content as they closed their eyes while their hands stayed entwined.

But now all that was left was tousled sheets and a wrinkled pillow.

Starfire stood, flying out of the covers and into the bathroom. She lef tthe door open, in case Silkie might awaken, as she ran a brush through her hair and brushed her teeth. She wanted to cry, but didn't. Even while she dressed, she wanted to cry, but held it in.

After regaining complete control over herself, she walked out of her room and into the living area of Titan's Tower. She expected to see what she always saw: Beast Boy, playing against Cyborg in a video game of racing cars or combat, Cyborg winning repeatedly, Raven reading The Inferno by Dante beside them, her violet eyes looking up every so often, more intrigued with the game than she'd ever admit, and Robin, sitting and reading files, or listening to some band to ignore everyone else and think.

That was what she got too. It was Combat as the game, and Raven was reading Goethe instead, but Cyborg was still winning over Beast Boy. Robin was doing both, listening to a hard rock station as he read over a file. Starfire sighed and forced a smile, walking in the room.

"Good morning, friends," she said, louder than usual, hoping one of them would hear her. Of course, Raven turned, giving her a barely noticable smile, and then turned back to her book. Beast Boy paid no mind, trying desperately to achieve his goal of beating Cyborg. Once Cyborg won, he turned and grinned wildly. "Morning Star! What's happening?" he said, pushing Beast Boy away, and off of the couch.

She genuinely smiled as she walked down the steps. "Nothing is happening, it is simply the good of mornings," she said, and Cyborg laughed, turning back to the game.

Her smile faltered as she came into the kitchen area, Robin sitting on the counter. He didn't look to her, seeming to try to purposely ignore her, and tapped his feet against the cabinet doors. mhe looked as prim and proper as usual, his black hair spiked up, his mask hiding those eyes, his uniform fitting and ready to go if needed, Starfire bit her lip softly as she opened the fridge. "Good morning, Robin," she said, and she pulled out orange juice.

He nodded, still not speaking a word to her. His long fingers reached over to slightly turn the volume of the radio up instead, and Starfire almost burst out into tears.

Why did he do this to her? Why did he treat her as if she were poison after he had broken down to her the night before? How could he tell her he was her best friend, and kiss her in Tokyo, in front of their friends, if he wished to treat her like a common criminal instead?

She poured a glass and walked out, sitting on the couch with the rest, her eyes forward. She had suddenly lost her appetite. It wasn't like she would become ill from not eating, her nine stomaches handled that, but she felt an enormous amount stress, and anxiety building in her chest. She only wanted to cry, and she wanted to curl into a ball and curse Robin.

Raven's hand touched her shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asked softly. Starfire thought about lying, but knew Raven would see straight through it.

"I will be. But right now, can we not speak of it?"

Raven slowly nodded, knowing Starfire's thoughts, not only from being a mind reader, but also as a close friend. Starfire was planning to end it with Robin, and Raven didn't dare try to stop her. Starfire would figure it out. She always did.

Starfire passed through the day, coping, and faking smiles as she tried her hand at the game, and managed to beat Beast Boy slightly. But, she afterwards purposedly lost so he would feel happy, though Raven said it was the worst mistake she could have ever made. Beast Boy gloated all afternoon.

There was an emergency call during the day, close to night fall, and they set out. It was Cinderblock, routine and done, and though Robin didn't speak to her, he managed to jump in front of her everytime she tried to fire an attack, blocking her of her duties. He didn't even let her hold his arms as the flew up, as they usually did. he had Beast Boy do it instead.

They went home, Starfire keeping to herself, and eventually they all split ways, each heading to go to bed. Starfire couldn't sleep though. She tossed and turned, and eventually gave up, sitting up in the bed and cuddling Silkie.

Then, there was the knock. She sighed, standing up as she set Silkie in the crib and walking to the door, slowly but surely and opening it. She saw Robin, his blue eyes shining once again, and his face looking almost as wretched as the night before. That made it even more difficult.

"Star," he said softly, smiling calmly as he reached out to touch her, but she moved just out of reach. He raised a brow curiously and leaned forward. "What's wrong? Are you hurt or sick?"

"Robin, please return back to your room of sleep," she said. She mentally slapped herself for her english. She had begun to realize that she lost track of words when she was upset, and her wording became almost unrecognizable.

Robin shook his head in disbelief, desperately wanting to touch her, wanting to comfort her. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, his voice starting to stress.

"You are what's wrong with me. I can not be alone with you any longer."

"Star, what are you talking about? Why can't you be alone with me?"

Starfire looked down, wiping the back of her palm under her eyes. "When we're alone, I fall under your spell, and I can not take the pain of the next morning no longer. I refuse to be a secret to you, because you have the feeling of pride, or prejudice, or. . ." Starfire grabbed her head and growled. "Where are the words! I am sick of this! Please leave, Robin. Please leave me," she said in agony, quickly closing the door in his face, remembering once when he had done the same to her.

She fell down the side of the door, crying in motions as she expected to hear his footsteps, walking angrily to his room, but there was only silence. Only the sound of her own crying could fill her hearing, and she couldn't manage to stop.

"Starfire, I can't leave you. I can't lose you. Please, Star, let's talk, I'll be open. I won't be guarded or closed," he pleaded, and she could almost feel his fingertips touching the door.

"No. You will talk to me tonight and then leave me tomorrow. You will pretend that I do not even exist and treat me coldly. I can no longer force a smile that is fake just so you can pretend you are strong, or stable. I will not be in love with you behind this door and silent on the other side," she told him, covering her eyes with her hands.

There was silence cold silence that made Starfire stand and walk to her bed. She was falling now, falling hard and fast to a rocky bottom, knowing she would never regain herself. Being without him was like being without air. She couldn't breathe.

She finally heard his footsteps leave and his door close in the silence of the tower. She began to cry even harder, and her crying eventually knocked her into an almost drug-induced sleep.

She slept hard, but not getting any rest. her mind drifted into a dreamless slumber that wasn't satisfying, and she awoke with a jolt, sitting straight up in the bed, looking up to see Robin, still the same as he had looked last night, sitting in a chair across from the bed. her eyes adjusted, seeing him clearer and clearer until she started to get angry.

"Why do you wish to invade my privacy? I asked you to leave," she said, keeping her voice stern.

"I want to talk to you," he said, his voice layered with worry.

"How did you get into my room?"

He smiled slightly, shrugging. "I helped Cyborg create the tower. I know all of the locks and codes," he replied, but Starfire didn't smile. He frowned afterwards and sighed. "Please, will you talk to me?"

"The sun is up. We don't share conversation any more in the day," she said with a catty voice. Lack of sleep made her wish to shoot starbolts at him, to ruin that perfect, drop-dead gorgeous image that he presented in front of her. the sight of him, the way he made her feel, hitting her like a freight train all over again.

"Please Star, just this once, listen to me, hear me out, and then I'll leave you alone if you want. Anything you want, I'll do if it'll make you happy," he pleaded.

Starfire frowned, rubbing her eyes. It couldn't hurt she guessed, but her anger still made it almost unbearable for her to sit without crying or yelling at him. She gave him a nod, and the crossed her arms instinctively across her chest.

A sigh of releif escaped his lips and he almost stood, but then reconsidered her mood and sat back down. "First off, i want to tell you that I'm sorry. Ever since Tokyo I know I've been keeping you at a distance around everyone, even when we're alone I still keep you far enough away so i can break free if I want to. I come and confide in you, and yet expect you to not be hurt when i leave, and for that, I am truly sorry. I don't want to ever hurt you, Star. I love you. I've loved you since I first saw you, even when you did kiss me and leave me.

"I know i've been a real jerk, but please bear with me. I don't know how to handle you. I don't know what to say or do, because everything I do makes me feel vulnerable and i don't think i've ever felt vulnerable before. I know this is a lame excuse, but this is all new to me too. I don't want to screw up, but it seems like that's all i do, and then i get mad at myself, and i take it out on you, and I refuse to speak to you because I don't want to say something worse,

"Please Star, just give me another chance. I promise you won't wake up alone ever again. I promise you won't be ignored, or have to cry over me again, just don't leave me. it'll kill me to lose you," he pleaded, not able to sit any longer. He came to the end of the bed, taking her hands in his.

She didn't resist. But she didn't give in. "Robin, I love you. I want to be the keeper of your secrets, and I wish to bear the same pain that you do, but I can't stand to have you ignore me. You are the only thing that brought me back to Earth. You are the only reason i stayed, the only reason I didn't take over Tamaran, or choose to seek other companionship."

"I know, I truly do, and that's why I promise to do whatever it is you need of me. If I screw up, you can hate me forever, or banish me from your sight, I'll do it for you."

Starfire brought his face up and planted her lips against his, Robin coming closer to her as he used his hands to travel up her neck, and into her mess of red hair. She ran her fingers through his loose ebony strands and then pulled away.

"I forgive you, but only if you do one thing for me."

"Anything."

That night, they fell asleep together, and the next morning, Starfire opened her eyes to stare at him as he slumbered next to her.

The End


End file.
